


Little Girl Lost

by MrsHamill



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-18
Updated: 2006-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 11:57:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6050803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsHamill/pseuds/MrsHamill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prejudices of all kinds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Girl Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2006 Constrict 'zine, which had a theme of the paranormal. Takes place during the first season. Thank you, Sian, for your editing prowess and for releasing the story early.

"I've got to say, it's rather refreshing having an uneventful mission," Rodney said and John raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'd say boring, but if you want to say uneventful..." he said, deliberately baiting. 

Ford snorted and Teyla suppressed a smile. "I'm just happy no one has to spend the night -- or more -- in the infirmary," Weir said. "You've done good on this one, people; you should all be at least as pleased as I am."

John conceded the point with a smirk and watched Rodney roll his eyes. "And we got a treaty, too, as well as no one shooting at us for a change," he pointed out.

"A win all around," Weir said dryly. "Before you go, Teyla, Halling radioed from the mainland. He wanted to let you know the children seem to have developed a problem and are asking for you and their hero to come settle it."

Teyla glanced between John and Elizabeth. "What is the nature of the problem? Is it serious?"

"I don't think so, or at least it doesn't sound so. Halling said Jinto thinks he's found a ghost." She smiled and Teyla relaxed. "But they'd like to have you and Major Sheppard come out and look at whatever it is."

John grinned. "Well, I haven't been out there for a while, and I did promise the kids another episode of _Nightmare on Elm Street_ , so..."

"I can't believe you're telling a bunch of children about Freddie Kruger," Rodney said as he closed his laptop.

"Hey, Athosian kids have grown up in the shadow of the Wraith. They're hard to scare."

"Yeah, I can see that," Ford muttered.

"I don't see why we can go out there tomorrow morning." John looked at Elizabeth then at Teyla. "Spend the day with them, maybe overnight?"

"I have no objections as long as you stay on radio," Weir said.

"I shall be ready at first light, Major."

"Great. I'll meet you in the jumper bay."

The meeting broke up as they all stood and began to trickle out. John hurried and caught up with Rodney as he was heading for the transporter. "Hey, McKay." They stepped into the transporter together. "I was wondering if you'd... well, if you're free tonight and I could..."

"Tonight?" Rodney would never meet his eyes when they talked about this and it was depressing and discouraging. "I didn't think you'd..."

"No, no... It's fine, if you don't, I was just..."

"Well, I--I could... um... late. About eleven?"

"Okay." John touched the spot which would bring them out near Rodney's primary lab. "About eleven, then."

Rodney nodded, glanced at John out of the corner of his eye and stepped out of the transporter. John sighed and touched the spot near his office. If he was going to take the next day or so off, he'd better catch up on paperwork first.

* * *

There was a small place, larger than their own quarters but not a full apartment, several levels below the area designated as living space. John had found it on one of his late night rambles, when he hadn't been able to sleep after first arriving on Atlantis. It had special windows looking out into the ocean, since it was below the waterline. It hadn't been flooded and was partially furnished, including a bed much larger than anything they'd found so far. Other than that, it was almost painfully barren.

John and Rodney had been using it for a few months, since the aftermath of the storm and the Genii attempted take-over of Atlantis. It came in handy as it was far from prying eyes and  no one really wanted quarters beneath the ocean anyway.

Rodney was already there when John arrived, standing at the window, staring out into the dim, green depths. John knew better than to talk, than to say anything at all; instead he just hurried over to Rodney and buried him in an embrace. Rodney's mouth was wet and eager for John's invasion, opening immediately.

They never spoke, not after the first time. Everything they did was almost frantic and punctuated by gasps and half-voiced groans as they peeled out of clothing and fell together on the bare mattress. Rodney's skin was sweet and salty and John knew every spot to kiss, every spot to lick. He pulled Rodney over so he was on top, relishing the weight holding him down.

Rodney kissed him hard and deep and John knew he'd be bruised and didn't care. The only marks they cared about were those that could give away their secret, those that could expose them. Those which could expose the depth of caring between them.

He rolled them again, happy to have the room to do so, and Rodney let his legs fall open so John could be between them, so John could thrust against him, ratcheting their arousal even higher. John had the fleeting wish they could take their time, they could come together leisurely and spend an afternoon tasting and touching each other, rather than the hurried, furtive couplings which was all they shared. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Rodney inside, wanted to know if Rodney would like being fucked as much as John had in the past. He wanted time to stand still just for them, just for a little while. And he'd been wanting it for months and knew he might never, ever get it.

Rodney wrapped his legs around John's hips and thrust up, pressing their erections together. John hissed, pulled his mouth from Rodney's and buried his nose in Rodney's neck, fighting to keep from coming too soon. He lifted his upper body on his forearms and took a ragged breath as he looked down. Rodney's eyes were closed and his mouth was open -- he looked vulnerable and lost and unbelievable sexy. John managed to get a hand between them and took both cocks in it, squeezing just this side of brutally, backing them off just a bit. Rodney's eyes flew open and John knew that expression, knew the dazed arousal evident in Rodney's was reflected in his own eyes.

He held Rodney's gaze as he slowly started to pump his hand. Their sweat and pre-come made his grip slick and maddening but not as good as it could have been, as he wanted it to be. Rodney closed his eyes again but John left his open, wanted to watch, wanted to commit it to memory. When Rodney came, he gasped and shoved up so hard he lifted them both off the bed for a moment and the sight of him coming sent John over the edge as well, adding to the mess gluing their stomachs together. 

John released them and rolled slightly to one side, taking the bulk of his weight off Rodney's body. They were breathing like they'd just won a marathon but it was already beginning to fade, they were already beginning to draw apart. Once Rodney recovered, he'd stand and clean them up with the supplies one or both of them always brought. He'd get dressed and so would John, not looking at each other directly, and John would ache for one more kiss, which he wouldn't get.

And then, they'd go back to their quarters and would not speak of it again, except in vague terms. And John's heart would break just a little bit more.

* * *

It only took a bit over a half and hour to fly to the mainland, including a slight detour to check out the waves at the south promontory. John loved flying in atmosphere and always drew out the trip, not that anyone he was with would complain. Teyla loved flying almost as much as he did, and had admitted to him once she wished she could learn to fly the jumpers. While some of the Athosians had the Ancient gene, it was weak and Carson didn't think the therapy could increase or improve it.

"Major." They'd been in the air for about ten minutes and John had the feeling Teyla wanted to talk about something with him. He gave her a raised eyebrow, inviting her to continue. "May I ask you a personal question?"

"Teyla, you can ask me anything, but if you're going to make it _personal_ , then I think I'd rather have you call me 'John'."

She smiled widely, not looking directly at him. "Very well then. John. May I ask you a personal question?"

"Ask away."

She took a breath and the smile faded from her face. Uh-oh, must be serious, John thought.

"You and Dr. McKay. I have noticed..."

Uh-oh. Very serious. Shields at maximum.

"Yes?"

"Do... Are the two of you in a relationship?"

Hedging, John replied, "Why do you ask?"

"I have seen you... and he... exchanging..." She made a frustrated noise but John didn't relax. "Aiden has explained to me the concept of... 'homophobia.'" She said the word slowly and looked to him for confirmation she'd said it correctly. He nodded, aware his face must have a sour look on it. "And while I do not completely understand it, I believe I understand why it must force certain relationships... underground, so to speak."

"Yes. It does." John didn't mean to sound so flat, but it was not a subject near and dear to his heart. Relenting, he spoke again before she did. "Are you familiar with the concept of musical theater? Stories told by actors using dialog and songs?"

She was frowning, but didn't call him on the topic change. "Yes, we have seen some theater on other worlds and I have heard some of the beautiful music from Earth."

"There's a musical play, an American one, but it's really loved by a lot of people. It's called _South Pacific_ and it's been put on stage and in movies for years. It's the story of... of... well, love in wartime, I guess you'd say." He bit his lip, wondering how to explain it in the short time they had left to the trip. "The two main characters are an American woman and a French man. His wife had died and left him and their two children. But his wife had been Polynesian, not... not... white. Sort of."

"White?" Teyla looked confused and John thought, good for the Athosians.

"As in ethnic groups. Think of Ford. He's considered black in my world."

"Black? But... do you mean in skin color? Because his skin is not black, it is dark brown."

"Yes! Exactly! And I'm not really white, I'm more pinkish-brown but I would be considered white, though Rodney is as white as you can get and still have melatonin. And you wouldn't be considered white in my country, although not black either. Hispanic, maybe."

She looked even more confused and he sighed. "It doesn't make sense, I know. But prejudices don't make sense. And in the musical, you see, the 'white' woman saw a 'white' man with two 'non-white' children and couldn't get past that. So the man went to a friend, a white American, and asked why Americans were so completely screwed up. And the friend sang a song about it, called _You Have to be Carefully Taught_ , where he told the guy that in America, you had to learn how to hate people who didn't look like you just like you learned how to walk and talk and eat."

Teyla said nothing for a while. John could tell she was thinking. "I'm afraid I do not find any of this very logical, John," she finally said, very quietly. Another black mark for Earthlings, John thought, wondering what the score was.

He sighed. "I know. And here's the real kicker -- they made a movie out of the musical. I saw it when I was a kid, and in the show I saw, they left that song out. In fact, most of the time when the musical is done on stage, the song gets left out. I only heard the song for the first time when I was in high school, years and years after the movie was made."

It wasn't until they were making the final approach to the mainland that John realized he hadn't really answered her question. Then again, she hadn't said anything else, so maybe he had. 

* * *

Halling was at the clearing which had become their unofficial jumper landing site when they arrived. He looked good -- tanned and rested. The storm had blasted the hell out of a lot of the mainland but thanks to the Athosians' good preparations, their settlement and crops had only minimal damage.

"Major. It is good to see you again."

"Good to see you too, Halling." John smiled as Teyla came out of the jumper and touched foreheads with Halling. "So I hear you might have a case of an over-active imagination on your hands."

Halling sighed. "I do not know, Major. Jinto is quite certain he has found a ghost, even though no one else can see or hear what he claims he can. Well, there is one other now." Halling looked significantly at Teyla. "Saja said she can hear the 'ghost' too."

"Saja?" Teyla looked stunned.

"Who's Saja? Wait... is she the blind girl? The little one?"

"Yes. She is a relative of mine. She is not the type of person to embellish a story," Teyla said.

"Neither is Jinto, not really," John said. "I mean, he lets his imagination run away with him at times, but he's generally a good kid. And both of them can hear this?" 

They continued to chat as they moved to the settlement proper, which was busy as usual. Jinto must have known they'd be coming because he burst out of his tent the moment he saw them and ran to John. "Major Sheppard!" He threw his arms around John's middle and squeezed.

John laughed. "Hey, champ, not so hard there, I need my stomach!" John went down to one knee and looked up into Jinto's face with a smile. "So, what's this I hear about you finding a ghost?"

"I did, I can hear it and sorta see it too. It's over at the ruins."

"I thought you weren't supposed to be going to the ruins alone, Jinto," John said, keeping hold of Jinto's upper arms and trying to be very serious. "There are places in there that are dangerous."

"I know, and we don't, honest! Wex and I were playing at the stone pillars, no further, when I first saw it. And I came back and got someone older to come back with us, but no one but Saja can even hear it." Jinto's eyes were pleading and John felt his resolve crumble. "Please, you've gotta come. It's crying, Major Sheppard."

"Crying?" John looked at Halling, who shrugged, and at Teyla, who frowned. "Okay, I can see we're not going to do anything before checking this out."

The ruins were a half-hour's walk from the settlement. The anthropologists had done a quick survey of it and had thought it was something like a memorial for the Ancients, though they weren't certain. No one could even figure out how to enter the few vegetation-covered buildings which remained largely intact. Whatever the area had been, it was nothing now but tumbled and broken stone, pillars, mysterious buildings and hidden pitfalls. John, Weir and Nagurney (the chief anthropologist) had given a tour of the area to all the Athosians (especially the children) and had tried to rope off the most dangerous areas. They hadn't had time to go through it with any thoroughness, considering they were still occupied with the idea of surviving the Wraith for another few months, but it was high on the list of the sciences department.

Jinto led them to the outlying area of the ruin, where some stone pillars had stood. Two or three had been knocked to the ground during the storm and had broken in chunks. Where there had been reasonably safe ground before the storm was now covered in deep holes, some of which were filled with water. "Wow," John said, eyeing the damage, "looks like our little storm did a number here."

"We have not had time to do much more than repair the damage to the settlement, but I had heard from the children that this place had become much more dangerous," Halling said, looking around seriously.

"She's over here. Come on!" Jinto had John by the hand and was leading him around the worst of the damage. John was pleased to see Jinto was being careful and was watching where he stepped.

A pillar had fallen on a corner of one of the buildings. It was, like the rest, without a door, but the falling pillar had smashed a small hole in it, along one edge, near the roof. There was writing carved into the wall they hadn't seen before, probably because it had been covered with vegetation which was now gone. 

"Is that Ancient?" John asked Teyla, pointing out the words engraved into the stone.

"I think so, but I am not sure." She looked around at the devastation from the storm. "Why would the Ancestors build something so fragile on the mainland?"

"I don't know," John said. "Maybe they didn't intend it to last-- what the hell?" Over the wind moving through the ruins, John could hear a small sound... crying? "Do you hear that?"

"It's her, Major Sheppard! Look!" 

Jinto had stopped well back from the building and was pointing at the hole. Through it, John could see a faint radiance which seemed to disappear when he looked at it straight on. And there was, indeed, crying. It sounded like a child's snuffles, as though he or she had been crying for a very long time. "Hello?"

Carefully, John stepped closer to the hole. There were sinkholes all over the place and the footing was treacherous. "Be extremely cautious, Major," Teyla said, edging around the ground. "The area is soft and crumbling."

"Don't worry, I am," John muttered, testing every step before putting his weight on it. "Jinto, you stay back with your father."

He couldn't get right up to the hole, the ground was just too soft and marshy, even a couple of months after the storm. He wondered if the wind or the rain had toppled the pillars. "Hello?"

The dim radiance wasn't any clearer close up, but the crying was. John thought he heard some words mixed in, something like "matah, matah" along with the sniffles. "Can you hear me?"

There was no reply and no real body to look at or to respond. Cautiously, he eased back to where Teyla and Halling stood. "There's definitely something there, Jinto, that was a good call." Jinto gave him a brilliant smile. "I don't know what it is, but it was saying 'matah,' whatever that means."

Halling glanced at Teyla. "Is that not 'mother' in the language of the Ancestors?" he said.

"I believe it is." She gave John a serious look. "And I believe we need to call Dr. Weir or someone else who can read Ancient."

"And McKay too, to see if we can pick up anything on the EM band." John glanced at the hole again. "If it's a ghost, then it's an Ancient ghost."

* * *

Weir agreed readily, almost eagerly, to a trip to the mainland, though she couldn't leave for another hour or so. Rodney also agreed, saying he could bring some sensors with him but obviously thinking John was out of his mind for believing in a ghost. The wait left John with enough time to play with the kids, give them another lesson in playing football with the shapeless bag they used as a ball. The adults watched fondly as John proceeded to get filthy -- all the kids seemed to think _he_ was the football and insisted on tackling on him constantly, one lesson he hadn't had to press home. Teyla helped with various projects but John caught her giving him a smile from the sidelines several times.

It was noon before Elizabeth and Rodney arrived. John made room for them at the communal table and they all joined the Athosians for lunch. Rodney grumbled initially but John knew he was happier eating fresh food than even his beloved MREs. After, the kids had to sit for lessons so they got started on the ruins and their mystery ghost.

At John's direction, they'd brought a few pieces of wide, light-weight metal sheets, which he figured they could put on the ground and use for stability over the marshy areas. Halling and a couple of other men from the settlement helped John and Rodney carry them out to the ruins and place them over the worst of the soft ground. They held -- as long as only one or two stood on them at a time -- and both John and Rodney were able to get right to the hole.

Elizabeth was working on the translation of the words carved into the building, but age and plant-life had worn away some of the letters so it was tough going for her.

As soon as Rodney stepped close to the hole he obviously heard the crying. "What the hell is that? The wind?"

"There, see? I'm not crazy." John pointed to the hole and Rodney pulled out his tablet.

"It certainly does sound like crying," Rodney said. He inched closer to the hole, looking at his scanning devices. "There's no presence the HUD recognizes as a person there," he said softly, almost to himself.

John reached out and carefully tested the wall around the hole. It was crumbly, but didn't appear to be too fragile. It was more than a foot thick, which made him wonder, again, what the building was for.

"I'm getting something on the EM band," Rodney said. "Look."

He turned his tablet so John could see it and there was some kind of blip there. "But what is it?"

Rodney shook his head, looking perplexed. "Haven't got a clue." The gentle wind which had been blowing over the ruins faded and they could hear the sobbing start up again. "Poor thing. I wonder why he's crying?"

John gave Rodney a startled look but before he could say anything, he heard Weir call them. They backed away from the building out to dry land again and joined her and Teyla at one of the pillars. 

"It's a tomb," Elizabeth said and both John and Rodney stared at her. "Or, more precisely, a cenotaph. The inscription is incomplete, but it appears to be dedicated to those lost in space or killed by the Wraith, where an actual body wasn't found."

"If there are no bodies in it, then why would it be haunted?" John asked.

"If it is indeed haunted," Elizabeth said.

"Elizabeth, you know me, you know I don't even believe in a blue sky unless I see it," Rodney said. "There's no other explanation for it, that is a ghost."

She sighed and glanced at Teyla. "Then I think we're just going to have to get in there somehow," she said. "We're not going to figure this out until we do."

"I can fly the jumper over it and use sonar to scan it," John said as the idea hit him. "We'll have a map of it, and maybe be able to tell if it's stable enough to get into."

"Good idea, Major," Rodney said. "I'll go with you, we can download it into my tablet and should be able to get a three-d picture of it."

On the way back to the jumper, John had a sudden thought. "Why can you and I hear her when Elizabeth or Teyla can't?"

Rodney answered immediately. "Because we've got the Ancient gene. So does Jinto, remember?"

John blinked in surprise. "Oh." They lifted and flew slowly over the ruins while the sonar and radar mapped the area. John, as usual, ignoring the running commentary from Rodney as normal background noise. "It doesn't make a lot of sense, though, that the ancient gene lets us hear a ghost," he finally said after thinking about it.

"No, of course it doesn't. Ghosts don't make a lot of sense either. Can you get any lower?"

John had to concede the point so he didn't continue, just flew as low as Rodney needed.

The building -- all the buildings, actually -- were large and had small structures which looked like solid tables inside. The flooring appeared to be still intact for the most part so they knew they could go inside with relative safety. The scanning also pointed out a strange hole nearly under one side of all the buildings. It was very small and John thought it might be for some type of drainage, though there was no way to know for sure. Each building was sealed, though that might have happened after they had been constructed.

It only took them an hour to get inside the building, most of which was making sure they could get back out again and the building wouldn't collapse on them. The hole wasn't quite large enough but it didn't take long to remove a couple more blocks from around it. Once John and Rodney confirmed the interior was solid, Elizabeth and Teyla joined them. 

The room certainly felt like a tomb. The stone 'tables' turned out to be carved tombs, each one listing the names of those who had died away from home. There were carvings all over the walls too, and pictures as well. 

"Nagurney and Ashwani are going to have orgasms when they see this place," Rodney murmured and Elizabeth  chuckled. "Why did they put all this here and then seal it up? It makes no sense."

"I don't know, but the answer must be here somewhere," Elizabeth said, studying the words carved in the stone.

The lights they brought in did not illuminate the entire room but they didn't need to. John turned at Teyla's gasp and saw what she did -- a tiny figure huddled into one corner of the building. They all approached it, cautiously. 

"It's a child," Elizabeth said, her voice choked. 

John knelt down and used the flashlight to illuminate the tiny body. It was a little girl, her long, blonde hair falling about her mummified face, the remains of her clothes in tatters around her body. She was sucking her thumb. "She couldn't have been more than five or so," John murmured, not trusting himself to speak any louder. 

"How did she get in?" Teyla asked, turning and shining her light around the room.

"The hole, or drain, or whatever it is." Rodney went across the room to where their echo-map showed the small hole. "I have no idea what it was for, but she must have found it outside, crawled inside, then couldn't find it to get out again, or maybe it was blocked when she tried." He found the hole, which was set into the middle of the wall in a depression of floor almost opposite where the child died. "I remember hearing about a little girl who fell down a tiny drainage hole once, smaller than she was."

"But she got out, finally, alive. This little girl was never found again." Elizabeth sniffed and turned away.

John stood slowly, creakily, turning his face from the tragedy on the floor. Her parents must have been frantic, terrified, perhaps thinking she'd been carried off by animals or drowned somewhere, and all the time, she had been here, crying, wanting her mother. He closed his eyes and pressed his hand to his head.

A warm presence at his side made him open his eyes to see Rodney, his face suffused with sympathy and pain and... and... Without thinking, without regard to who else was in the room, John put his arms around Rodney and held on tight. Rodney squeezed back, thankfully silent.

"We should take her from this place of death," Teyla said softly. "We can give her proper funeral rites and set her soul to rest."

"Yes, we should." John turned and saw Elizabeth and Teyla embracing each other with a familiarity that gave him pause but did not surprise him. "She's been alone for far too long."

Rodney didn't let go. Rodney didn't let go. John clung to Rodney and didn't let go either, kept holding him tightly. Elizabeth looked at John over Teyla's shoulder and her face was sad and forgiving and honest, all at once. John gave up and didn't fight the tears any more.

John closed his eyes and kept Rodney in his arms. It was then he realized he could no longer hear the baby crying.

* * *

They decided to stay the night. The Athosians were more than willing to give a proper funeral for the little girl and everyone, especially Jinto and Saja, was saddened by her tale. Rodney said he'd brief the anthropologists and archeologists the next day and let them come back out as they wanted to.

To the Athosians, death was the beginning to a journey that led to a better place. So many of them died away from home, leaving no body to mourn, just like those in the cenotaph. To them, to know the time and place of death was considered a good thing, one of the best things. They didn't even know her name, but they honored the little girl who'd died alone and frightened, hopefully showing her the way to the place where her parents waited for her.

It was late and Elizabeth caught John coming back to the fire after relieving himself. "A word, John?" 

He rubbed his hand over his head and nodded.

She drew him to the side and seemed to be hunting for words before she finally spoke. "Don't sleep in the jumper tonight," she finally said. "The Athosians have a couple of tents set aside for us. I'm staying with Teyla. You should stay with Rodney."

His jaw dropped as her words sunk in. "Elizabeth--"

"Sometimes," she said, overriding his words, "we feel we can't appreciate what we have, for whatever reason, legitimate or not. Sometimes we aren't able to do what we want to do, what we need to do. This is not one of those times, John." Her hand on his arm was warm. "When we go back to Atlantis, we go back to being alone. But here, we don't have to be."

He stared at her in shock. In the dim light from the stars, the moons and the fire, he couldn't see her face clearly and that helped, for some reason. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, not really. But when he's around you, he's different. Rodney's been alone for a very long time, John -- not as long as our little lost girl, but long enough. You're good for him in ways beyond measure, just as he's good for you." She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. "This is a gift. Take it with joy."

John stood in the darkness for a long time, thinking about her words. He could see Rodney sitting on a bench away from the fire, talking to someone with his customary animation, his hands flying all over the place as they illustrated his voice. If he concentrated, he could hear Rodney speak, even, over the roar of the fire and the murmur of the Athosians. Somehow, he thought he'd always be able to hear Rodney, even if they were on different worlds.

He took a deep breath and nodded to himself, then walked back to the settlement. He sat on the bench right next to Rodney, close, his body touching Rodney's. Rodney stuttered to a halt and turned to look at John, frowning. John smiled and slung an arm around Rodney's shoulders. 

Rodney stiffened, though he didn't duck away. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm not being alone and not letting you be alone," John replied, his voice pitched low. He glanced around the big clearing in the middle of the settlement but saw no one paying any attention to them at all. Teyla was sitting on the ground and Elizabeth was between her legs, her head on Teyla's shoulder and they were both talking to Halling. "I know where they've got us billeted, let me know when you're tired and we can go to bed."

Rodney's face was a study of conflicting emotions, but John suddenly found he didn't care. Tipping his head, he leaned in and kissed Rodney's mouth, right where it drooped on the left side. Rodney didn't pull away and didn't close his eyes, but his body relaxed a bit. "Oh."

"I was thinking, we should do this more often. Come to the mainland, I mean. Just for a break." John tried to keep his voice casual but didn't think he succeeded. "We could go surfing."

" _You_ could go surfing. I could watch you." Rodney was still tentative, still wary, and John wanted to relax him all the way. He wanted to do more than that, in fact.

"Yeah, we could do that." He leaned in and kissed Rodney again then stood, offering his hand. "We have tonight and I think we should take it."

Rodney sat very still for a long moment, staring at John's hand. John could almost feel his trepidation, his worry, his reluctance and eagerness, because those emotions were matched inside him. Finally, Rodney reached up and took his hand, let himself be pulled to his feet. "Okay," he said, and smiled at John.

end


End file.
